silent ramblings.

we sat around and spoke of our worst enemies. and of this life. and i dug my head into the deep curve of your body like it were a nest and i were home. home for the stars and the sun. and i thought of all the things i could do and of all the things i could never have to do again if all our what-ifs became what now?s. and we spoke of what inspires us as my fingers melted across the silent surface of your curving back, as they dipped and swam gently through calm water. of all the things i could go to now, of all the proactive things that create futures of happiness, i think a memory will do. i don't need any philosophy today, nor any history or revolution. if only i could feed off memory, it is so vivid and as sensual as food itself. if only the sun set later so that i could remember. so that i could forget. so that i would not have to worry myself with the silent option -- stay put, go back, or move forward? and as vivid as it seems, when i touch it i am terrified it will wake as an animal from a fretful sleep. the dreamer in me will not win this time, not over the romantic. and now i know what it means to be a member of this community of universe. i want to feel the realness of experience, not the certainty of make-believe.